Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
