Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
