remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize