There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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