We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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