can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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