wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
