We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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