Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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