I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i just google imaged poop.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Randomize
