Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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