kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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