when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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