mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
