i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
