We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
