it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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