i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize