Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize