I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
