They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
