He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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