His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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