so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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