I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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