So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
