Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
