Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He has the fingertips of a God
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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