Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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