You made me cry and you don't even care
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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