Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
