We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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