so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
