oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
