I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
