Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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