marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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