is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
