my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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