If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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