All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
