we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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