once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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