highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
