Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
