What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
