Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
