3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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