I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize