He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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