He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
