he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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