when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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