i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
