I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Randomize
