i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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