You can't motorboat a personality
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
