no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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