Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
