Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
