Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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