Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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