I want to have your abortion
farters have to be the big spoon...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
home. puking in laundry basket.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
