I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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