Whod you bang
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
